You have got to be kidding me

Shortly after I wrote the last post, Will ended up calling 911 because I decided to go stiff, fall straight back, and start convulsing. Come to find out I had my very first seizure. After a few hours in the ER, I was able to go home but I am not allowed to drive or basically be left alone until I see a neurologist. This is where it gets sticky. The navy won't let me see one! They keep telling me that one seizure is not enough to warrant seeing a neurologist. Are you friggin kidding me? I'm sorry, my entire family saw me laying on the floor convulsing for over 2 minutes and I still was barely conscious when the firemen and the EMT's showed up. What more do you want? Will is terrified to leave me alone, Aiden thought he killed me, and I worry every day that it is going to happen again. I broke 3 toes, busted my elbow, bit my tongue straight through, and gave myself a concision on top of it all. Dear lord help me, how much more can I take?

Homeschool or not?

That is the question we have been debating all year. Our reasons are all good ones in my opinion (there are at least 4 pregnant girls at Aileen's school, Laurens was in lock down 3 times this year, and Fletcher's teacher didn't know until yesterday that he was autistic, not developmentally delayed) but there are also cons to this. The biggest being my sanity as I will take on the brunt of the work. With being in school myself will I have enough time to do it all? The boys' aids can help with homeschooling them but will I be able to challenge Aileen to the level that I know she is at. Then yesterday we get a letter stating that Lauren has another audition at ODC (artistically gifted academy) for dance. What to do if she gets accepted? I am not to worried about the socialization aspect of homeschooling. Anyone who has met my kids know that they are not in the least bit shy. I would love opinions and feedback from those who read us! And as an added bonus here are some pics of the boys with their "ladies"

I know, I know

I am alive and well. I have just not wanted to touch my computer lately. There are so many more things that steal my time. The kids are doing well and Will graduates Navy school in 10 days. Then he will have his Bachelors degree in January. I am going back to school in September. I am really excited about that. Hopefully all schedules will allow me to take my classes and have time fore homework. I will get better at this and hopefully have some new pictures to share as well!

More to Share

Stewart, Granma, Uncle Rich, me, and Will

Stewart, midgit Grandma, and me

The snow ladies

Me and my girls

Gin, Mogie, and Bex

Dreams

As most everyone knows, I have been a wreck since my mom passed away 2 months ago today. I had to share this. On Tuesday I had a whole series of dreams most involving produce (don't ask I have no clue) but I did have one dream that my mom gave me. You may not believe in things like that but I do. In my dream I was standing at my bedroom window and my mom called me on the phone from my driveway. I could see her while she was talking to me, I don't know if she could see me. She told me that she missed me and loved me. I told her how all the kids were doing and she let me know that she was OK. I needed that. I needed to know that she was OK and at peace and she let me know that she was. Then yesterday, I got a wonderful card and letter from my mom's friend Janice. And that helped even more. I just wanted to let everyone know that I am still here, I am starting to heal, and I still miss my mommy everyday.

I think I can

I finally got the courage to download my camera from my mom's memorial. The first picture is of mom's best friend Jan and Aileen making Jan's famous apple pie. My mom would have loved to see this!

The next few Aiden actually took. Maybe he will be a photographer when he grows up!

Me and Will sitting in the great room

Irv's daughter Georgeanne

And one of mom and Irv's best friends Bill. We could not have gotten thru all that we needed to do that week without the support of him and his wonderful wife. Thank you Bill and Renee!

I will share more tomorrow!

Day by Day and Step by Step

I think I am finally getting functional again. It is still so hard and painful but I don't fly off the handle or grab an adult beverage. I take myself out of the situation. Just give me a little more time and hopefully I will get back to some form of normal. Thank you for all the thoughts, prayers, and well wishes. Keeping them coming because it helps so much!